FAIL

My mother recently gave me a gift certificate to Beach Bunny Swimwear. For those who don't know what Beach Bunny Swimwear is, it is basically lingerie that somehow passes for pool wear and in reality you really must stay on the look out for police while wearing it in public as it is borderline public indecency. I strolled in, overcome by the smell of "Angel" perfume which smells something like slutty teenage prostitutes, gold digger and desperation (I too wear this, but I can hate on it because I was not wearing it at the time and considering the sources that it was oozing from), I see two SASSY Latinas with the dressing room wide open. I heard one complain loudly about her huge ass. But she didn't need to tell me that such an ass existed as I had already noticed, with her and her big ass none the wiser. After years of judging and mad-dogging bitches, I have mastered the art of pretending not to look, I will probably end up with a lazy eye or something because of it, but we'll deal with that issue when it arises. Sometimes when I feel like being a meanie, rather than being blatantly rude and wishing to not get beat down I choose to say something passive aggressive a.k.a. doing it with a smile on my face, or I say something like "that bathing suit looks great on your butt!" Lies. Lies. Lies. This was an odious lie! Hehe, I'm such a gem. Anyway these bitches WERE NOT having it, even though they had no idea I was telling a serious lie... a momentous thing happened, I was caught in my own game. She replied, "Yeah you too." I was in sweatpants. BURN! She won this bitch-off. A failure of epic proportions on my part. I died a little inside and awkwardly pretended to look around a little more and walked away with my horned tail between my legs. To add insult to injury she yelled out, "Keep drinking your HATEORADE." Actually it was Smart Water. That bitch shoulda picked some up. But my horns go off that loca lady who put me in my place. Maybe I should post this on Craigslist's "Missed Connections".