People with Weird Names

Why are people with weird or "different" names so annoying? I mean I hear you talking about it before the teacher takes roll on the first day of class, I hear you giggle, sigh loudly or bitch about it when our teacher chokes on the flem that is produced when trying to speak your name. There is always that subsequent response, "My friends call me this," or "Just call me this" and its always worse than the individual's real name to begin with... Mental note, not to EVER speak to you, lest I am forced to mispronounce your name and never hear the end of it. It's not edgy, its dumb. And I will most likely try to avoid the fateful day when its comes time for group projects, as I assume your parents obvious stupidity which resulted in the odd misspelling of your name, has most likely been passed through on to you. FUCK, you're in my group. WHY, you ask? Oh, I know why, because my teacher facilitates this inevitable pseudo "friendship" that last for approximately three weeks, because I too have had an awkward first day when it comes time for roll call. We share some sort of sick, twisted common ground. Cameron? My teacher looks around for some dude with a beer gut. ITS ELEMENTARY MY DEAR WATSON! Is it possible that my parents too could have made the portentous decision to name me after a boy? Actually I think I was named after some slutty girlfriend my uncle had in college, or her dog...I forget. And then when I raise my hand my teacher smiles awwwww. LOOK WHO WE GOT UP THERE CLASS....FUCKING NANCY DREW! Yeah I'm a chick. But instead of correcting my teacher and say its "Cami," I'll avoid the hooker names that come along with the misunderstanding of when I correct them. "Candy?" NO. "Tammy" NO. "Kimmie" NO. "Sandy" NO!!! Why did your parents just changed that last letter, OHHH sweet baby jeebus how it would spare me the mental torment, how it would not physically hurt me to hear your name. Leonard I hate you, oh I'm sorry its pronounced LEO-noard.