STARBUCKS, MEIN KAMPF

As I waltzed into Starbucks this shitty morning, supporting my local Pavilions as well as my Java addiction I was stopped dead in my tracks. "YOU!" I said, clearly forgetting that I have problems controlling my inner-monologue (hence the bitch blogging) . For my fellow Pepperdine students as well as Malibu locals who know that random dude that works at Starbucks (for these purposes we'll name him paininmyass because we all know looking at his name tag straight in the eye would burn my corneas straight through my head with some sort of paininmyass magic) was standing straight in front of me. Good God, do I kick him in the shin and run the other way? No. I needed my coffee fix or it would have sadly been someone else who had to perish. He started doing this "disco" dance move gyrating and using his index finger, proceeded to move his arm diagonally. Before I could even comprehend wtf he was doing he oozed out of his mouth, "You look like you're going to a Disco" pointing to my shiny shirt. I died a little inside, I'm not going to lie. I said a little prayer that he was busy doing something else and not actually working at Starbucks. How wrong I was. He skipped past me behind the counter and proceeded to purposely stare me straight in the eyes. I was in NO MOOD for his shenanigans needless to say so I quickly gave him my order. Paininmyass proceeds to tell me "They're out of coffee". Holding myself back from climbing across the counter and driving a straw into his eye, I just stared back. He waited and then started hysterically laughing while everyone else behind me watching in horror. SINCE WHEN DOES ON THE STARBUCKS JOB APPLICATION MAKE "ANNOYING AS FUCK" A REQUIREMENT. Attention all Baristas.... can I get a little shut the hell up before 10 am? HELLO Paininmyass we are not friends, we will never be friends. 

Anyways he goes to hand me my drink and as my little heart lit up with joy, the mofo snatches it back. Oh wow. What I really wanted to do was throw it in his face, buttttttt I decided to wait patiently for him to tire his one brain cell out with stupid jokes and hand me my drink. I glanced at my phone, 1050. OH NO, YOU DIDNT. I had to get to class and park by 11. I go to run out of that bitch and I heard him, "Wait! You forgot something" I ran back. NOTHING. I left nothing. GOD DAMN IT. He cackled again and once again I died a little inside. I am boycotting Pavilions Starbucks. Cant a girl get a Venti Sugar-Free-Vanilla Soy Latte without this drama?